How to approach a dog the right way

Seeing a cute dog when you’re out and about can be a bright spot in the day. And while your first instinct might be to rush over for a pet, knowing the right way to say hello is about more than just good manners — it’s essential for everyone’s safety. Learning how to approach a dog is like learning a new language. It builds trust, strengthens bonds and ensures the experience is positive for you and the pup.

How to read a dog’s body language

Before you think about moving closer to a dog, the first step is to observe from a distance. Dogs communicate volumes through their posture and expressions. Learning to spot the difference between a relaxed dog and a stressed one is the most important part of a safe interaction.

Green flags: A dog who wants to say hi

A friendly and receptive dog will often have loose, soft body language. Look for a gentle C-shape in their spine rather than a stiff, straight line. Their tail will likely be wagging in a broad, sweeping motion — think a full-body wiggle. A relaxed dog might also have a slightly open mouth that looks like a smile and may even drop into a play bow (front end down, rear end up) as a clear invitation to come closer.

Red flags: A dog who needs space

On the other hand, a dog that feels anxious or threatened will give off clear warning signals. A stiff, frozen body is a major red flag, as is a tail that’s tucked between their legs or wagging in a high, fast, rigid way. Look at their face: Are they licking their lips when there’s no food around? Yawning excessively? Showing the whites of their eyes in a half-moon shape (often called “whale eye”)? These are all signs of stress. A lip curl that exposes teeth is a more obvious warning to back away immediately.

How to greet a dog safely

If the dog’s body language looks relaxed and welcoming, and they’re with their pet parent, you can proceed with a gentle introduction. The key is to let the dog have control of the interaction at every step.

1. Ask the pet parent first

Always start by asking for permission from a distance. A simple, “May I say hello to your dog?” is perfect. The pet parent knows their dog best, and if they say no, respect their decision without question. There are many reasons a dog might not be up for meeting new people, and it’s not personal.

2. Invite, don’t invade

Once you have permission, don’t rush forward. Instead, invite the dog to come to you. Turn your body to the side to appear less confrontational, and crouch down to their level. Avoid making direct, prolonged eye contact, as this can be seen as a challenge. This calm, non-threatening posture gives the dog the choice to engage.

3. Offer a scent introduction

If the dog decides to approach, let them do a sniff test. This is their way of gathering information, like a handshake. The best way to do this is to offer a closed, relaxed fist a few inches from the side of their head, not directly in their face. Let the dog come to your hand to sniff. A common mistake is to thrust your hand toward the dog, which is invasive and can feel threatening.

4. Pet with respect

If the sniff test goes well and the dog remains relaxed, you can gently pet them. The best places are on their chest, under their chin or on the side of their neck. Avoid reaching over the dog to pat the top of their head, as a hand descending from above can be intimidating. Keep the first interaction short — about 5 seconds or less — then stop. The dog may move in closer to get another pet, but it also gives them a chance to back away if they aren’t interested.

“Dogs communicate primarily through body language, and it’s our job to listen to what they’re telling us,” says Fetch Veterinary Officer Dr. Aliya McCullough. “A dog that turns away, licks its lips or becomes stiff is saying ‘I’m uncomfortable.’ Respecting these early signals is the key to preventing a situation from escalating.”

Human habits that may seem rude to dogs

Some of our most common gestures of affection don’t translate well into dog language. What seems friendly to us can feel threatening to a canine.

• Hugging: While we see it as a sign of love, wrapping your arms around a dog can make them feel trapped and anxious.
• Staring: Looking deeply into a dog’s eyes may feel like bonding, but in the dog world, a hard, direct stare is a threat.
• Patting the head: As mentioned, a hand reaching over a dog’s head can be scary. It temporarily blocks their vision and can be interpreted as a gesture of dominance.

A quick note on service dogs

If you see a service dog, remember that they are not a pet — they are trained assistants. The most important rule is to not distract them in any way. That means no talking, petting or making eye contact with the dog. A distraction could interfere with a life-saving task. Always direct your communication to the handler, not the dog.

Kindness starts with consent

Learning how to approach a dog ultimately comes down to one simple idea: respect. Every interaction should be based on a model of consent, which you can remember as Ask, Invite and Accept. First, you ask the pet parent for permission. Then, you use calm body language to invite the dog to approach you. Finally, you wait for the dog to accept that invitation. By slowing down and giving the dog a choice, you ensure every new greeting is a safe and positive one.